Why do haters gonna hate

See a translation. Report copyright infringement. The owner of it will not be notified. Only the user who asked this question will see who disagreed with this answer. Read more comments. This is used to focus attention away from something you have done onto a person who is criticizing you for doing it. Usually that other person is jealous. The haters in haters gonna hate were sometimes known as player haters or playa haters.

Marcus Reeves, who wrote a history of hip-hop, says that the term player hater emerged in the late s and was popularized by Notorious B. On Notorious B. The phrase took off online in the late s. Graphic designer Omar Noory used an animated GIF of a chubby child strutting, with a thought bubble that reads haters gonna hate , as a forum avatar in That year, a trend emerged of applying the phrase as a caption on pictures of people or characters walking proudly, displaying a cavalier attitude, or shamelessly acting strange.

One notable instance featured a very fit man rollerblading in nothing but a Batman mask, cape, and speedo. In a humorous riff on the meme, rhymes like gators gonna gate and potatoes gonna potate popped up, accompanied by images.

The phrase haters gonna hate peaked on Google Trends in February , with BuzzFeed notably publishing a listicle of some of the more outrageous memes.

Yet even in those cases, the "nonconstructive" feedback is often louder and easily gets more attention. Therefore, knowing how to "shake it off, shake it off" to again draw from Ms.

Swift's song is important. Haters are an inevitable part of sharing your work. In the remainder of this article, we describe strategies that have worked for us. These strategies are not meant to be considered hard and fast rules. You need to handle the haters in a way that fits your personal needs, the community norms, and the specifics of the situation. Perhaps starting off with this point is offensive, but if you find that you're constantly surrounded by jerks, then you are facing three distinct possible scenarios:.

Give yourself enough distance to consider the situation objectively. After you come across a comment that seems loaded with "hate-itude," stop.

Take a breath. Take a walk. Put off a response for an hour and see if you still feel the same way. The world really does have plenty of jerks, so pausing and making sure you're not one of them never hurts. Often what seems to be distilled "hater-ade" is more charitably described as inarticulate, hamfisted awkwardness. Technical communities in particular often view blunt and incisive criticism as the pinnacle of feedback. But it can hurt, and that can be compounded when the apparent hater doesn't have the same native language you do.

Assuming that people have good intentions is often to a discussion's benefit. Chances are they just have poor execution. Ask for clarification. Consider the most positive interpretation of what you think they've said or written and restate it back to them to see if that's what they really meant.

Giving the benefit of the doubt falls squarely in the "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" category. Understand that you are never obligated to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but doing so is a good way to reshape the interaction in a way that will lead to better engagement in the future.

Consider whether your communication style and speaker's are different. Maybe you can find common ground where you're both communicating in a way that how you say something also tells the listener how you meant it to be heard. But if someone keeps pouring on the hater-ade, we think they've lost the privilege of any consideration.

And that's when it's time to invoke the jerk-handling routine more on that below. Have you ever written a blog post or released a new version of your software only to have someone come along and tell you everything they disliked about it? The "thanks for reading" approach recognizes your audience as a passionate, albeit an ill-mannered, one.

By softening the interaction, I've noticed the next comment is often much more productive. It instead becomes constructive criticism.

This also plays a bit into the "benefit of the doubt" mindset. What you've created has obviously struck a chord with this one person and provoked a level of passion. Harsh or not, they were moved to make the effort to fire off a response. In a world of such a low signal-to-noise ratio where obscurity is a far more likely outcome than infamy, the "thanks for reading" approach recognizes your audience as a passionate, albeit an ill-mannered, one.

Communication isn't easy. This is especially true when dealing with complex topics, and even more so when the bulk of that communication is in text, which is devoid of the subtle hints of vocal cues and body language.

Even the best communicators in any medium may not have the experience or training to articulate clearly why a thing isn't working for them.

This can quickly lead to frustration. Frustrated people lash out; they make suggestions that don't make sense, or they simply attack blindly. They yield to hate because all other tools have failed them.

If you manage to peer through their fog of vitriol, you can often find a nugget of useful feedback. If you can stomach it, pay attention. If you manage to peer through their fog of vitriol, you can often find a nugget of useful feedback—that thing that they don't have the means of articulating. You do have the experience, the training, and the skills to recognize the "why" behind that frustration.

And, if you're willing, you have the tools to address it.